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by Miss Sushiroll
Summary: It's been 4 months after your first RFA party, and your relationship with Yoosung is quickly evolving. How will you cope with the changes? The problems? Will your relationship survive the anxiety you both feel?


You woke up from your nap, drowsy, surrounded by boxes full of books and games. You didn't intend to fall asleep, but the task of alphabetizing your books brought you do your knees. You groaned as you sat up, checking the clock. 3:00pm. Yoosung was still in class for another hour, and you are antsy for him to get home.

It had been four months since the first RFA party you were a part of, and things had been happening so quickly. You were finally finishing unpacking since you and Yoosung moved in together over a month ago. Personally, you thought you were moving too fast, but it felt right, like this is what you were meant to do. You could count on your hand the number of times you and Yoosung spent a night apart. And he insisted, claiming that when he wakes up from his nightmares, having you by his side calms him down. Truthfully, just being around him calmed your worries as well.

You stretched out, and walked into the living room, where your two computers sat side by side. You remember when Yoosung first saw your set-up, seeming very impressed. You blushed as you told him that there was a reason you never teased him about his gaming. Surprisingly, Yoosung was happy that he could continue the hobby he had for the last few years. You worried that it would take over his life again, but there were many times that he became distracted by your presence, choosing instead to embrace you, to draw on your back, to play with your hair. He's lost many matches on LOLOL being distracted, and he always scolded you playfully for distracting him, his attention snapping back to the game, losing himself in the strategy, wanting to prove how well he played.

You walked into Yoosung's room, where the larger bed was. You insisted on having two separate rooms, but Yoosung made sure to accommodate you in his. Mostly, your "room" was a small bed, and storage for your many books, games, and clothes, which is why you were still unpacking.

You sighed as you lay down in your shared bed, hugging Yoosung's pillow, breathing in his scent. You felt the guilt slowly washing over you. He still couldn't see out of his eye, instead just seeing blurred shapes. He was wearing glasses, but they only helped so much. If it weren't for you, Yoosung would never have gone with Seven to that place. Yoosung doesn't know, but Seven confessed everything to you. How Yoosung acted to selflessly. How he was tortured. How he was almost killed. Your heart ached and stomach dropped whenever you thought about it. You did not want to exist in a world without Yoosung, and you don't know how you did before him.

You shook your head, trying to rid yourself of the feeling, instead focusing on the first night you met in person. You remember the worry as you entered the party. Would Yoosung still like you? Would he think you were pretty? How would he act? You never thought yourself that pretty before. You were a gamer girl, but found yourself swallowed by your emotions. You remember worrying about how you looked all that night. You even wore make-up, and switched between three different dresses until you decided on a tight red one. You knew what he looked like, but he had no idea of you. You didn't want to disappoint.

You were so relieved when he said you were beautiful. Your heart stopping as he kissed you gently, his fingers intertwining with yours, his low whispers against your ear, telling you he loved you, that you were so beautiful, how happy he was to finally see you. Your face was almost as red as your dress as the room clapped for you. Thankfully, Jumin redirected their attention to the charity they were supposed to be celebrating. Yoosung pulled you to a corner of the room, refusing to let go of you. You really couldn't say much either, but blush as he smiled and stared at you. You tried to ignore as his bandages began to soak through...

Yoosung and you ended the night back at the hospital. You could tell he was in pain, though he was trying to hide it for your sake. He kept telling you to go home, that he would see you the next day, but you could tell he didn't want that, and neither did you. You refused to listen, and went with him anyways. Holding his hand in yours as you fell asleep, your head resting on his bed. You woke to him, smiling, stroking your hair. And you stayed by his side ever since.

Did Yoosung know how guilty you felt? How your heart sank the tiniest bit whenever you looked into his cloudy violet eye?

You sighed and rolled over. Will he just get home? Please?

You needed something to keep your mind away from this territory it insisted on going to. You go to the living room, waking your computer. You played LOLOL with Yoosung before, but it really wasn't your favorite. Instead, you opted for a futuristic MMORPG, where you played a beautiful cyborg. You smiled, thinking of when Yoosung caught you playing, and how he quickly downloaded it and made a character to fight with yours. He was always so willing to compromise, to do anything to make you happy. You smiled at the thought. Your Yoosung. Your prince, knight, protector.

You lost yourself in the alien planet, the worry ebbing from your heart as you slayed massive creatures and completed quests. Your headphones made you unaware that anyone else was there, until you felt his thin fingers wrap around your shoulders, massaging gently as he kissed the top of your head. You tried to keep your composure to finish the match, wanting to stop as soon as he released you. You turned your head to see where he had gone.

He was working in your small kitchen. It was one of his new favorite hobbies, cooking for you. It worked out well because you were a terrible cook, your specialty being packaged ramen that you were able to dress up to make edible.

You turned your attention back to the match. It was over a few minutes later, your cyborg conducting the final blow. You could see you received some rare loot, but you already put your headphones down and were heading to the kitchen. Yoosung had his back to you, washing some fresh veggies in the sink. You wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your face on his back.

"How was your day?" you asked.

You could hear the smile in his voice. "It was great! I got my test back, and I got an A."

You smiled at the good news. You knew he was smart, and was glad that he was following his dreams. He put the bowl of veggies down on the counter, and turned around in your arms. "I missed you, though." He leaned down and kissed you on the lips, a slow, but deliberate kiss. It wasn't typical for you to get more than that. You did find this strange about your relationship. It was always very emotional, and exciting, yet it lacked that physical aspect. It was always so intimate, but neither of you had seen the other naked. Neither of you had ever touched each other in private places. You hated to admit it, but it worried you. Was something wrong that he didn't want that with you? Were you not pretty enough?

You took a deep breath to push those thoughts away.

"I missed you, more," you said when you broke apart.

"Ah, but that's not possible, honey," he said with a wicked grin. "Just seeing your face makes me whole heart light up. It makes me feel invincible!"

You giggle as you lay your head on his chest, his arms wrapping around you firmly.

"What's for dinner?" you ask.

"Stir fried noodles. It'll be ready soon," he said, breaking from your grasp to continue cooking.

"You spoil me, Yoosung," you say, sitting back down at your desk.

"But a princess must be spoiled," he calls from the kitchen.

You let yourself delve back into the game, your volume lower so you could hear him better. It was cute when he swore under his breath when he was worried about something, but he was getting more and more confident with his cooking every day. The smells quickly wafted to you, a heavenly scent. He was getting very good at cooking as well, and you worried that, if this kept up, you'd get fat!

You had just ending a match, and were searching through the finds, equipping new armor for your cyborg when you felt his hot breath on your neck. He left a gentle kiss under your ear, sending a shiver up your back and a warmth in your stomach. He lifted the headphone gently. "Princess, dinner is ready," he whispered, his breath tickling your ear. You felt the goosebumps prickle up your spine. He took off your headphones, laying them on your desk and then went to sit at the kotatsu, where dinner was waiting for you.

"It looks and smells amazing," you say, sitting down.

"I hope it tastes good as well," he said, picking up his chopsticks. You did the same, eating slowly, savoring the taste. Your face must have told him your approval, because he had a wide grin on as he watched you eat. You then noticed the stack of booklets on the table.

"What are those?" you asked, pointing with your chopsticks.

"Ah, these? They are information for the vet schools I'm interested in. I want to look through them tonight, and start picking where I'll apply. It's a little far off, but I wanted to start making a plan." You felt his foot rub against yours under the blanket. This made you worry.

"I feel like there's a but," you say, hesitantly.

"Let's eat dinner, and then we can talk." Talking made you worry, and of course his redirection wouldn't work. You put your chopsticks down, the worry clawing around your body, tightening your stomach, itching at your heart. You could feel sweat slowly spread on your forehead as panic set in.

He sighed. This action made you feel worse, as if your emotions were an inconvenience. He set his chopsticks down as well, grabbing your hand in his. "I don't want to upset you. I know we just moved in together, but things are going so well with school, all thanks to you." He smiled brightly at you. You couldn't force yourself to smile back. "The only school I want to go to is not far from here, but it is very hard to get into. My second and third choices are a long ways away, and I may have to go to one of those. I just want you to know that this may be what our future holds, but this won't be for a long time."

You could feel the tears welling in your eyes, and you felt stupid for getting upset. It would be over a year before he went to his vet school, but the concept of your time together being limited was causing you to crack and break. "Honey...please don't cry. Things will be ok. I want to do this for you..." His voice was trailing off as he looked at his dinner. You could tell you were making him upset because of your stupidity. You got up quickly, needing to get out of there. You could feel the walls closing in. You had to leave.

"Where are you going?" he asked. You didn't answer, choosing instead to rush to put your shoes and jacket on. "Please, talk to me." He was suddenly behind you, his hand suddenly grasping yours.

"I just need to...go. I need to be alone," you said, pulling away sharply. The action hurt him. He stood there, his mouth agape, as you ran out the door. This was the first time you had reacted this way to him, but you need to get away and clear your head, but at the same time, all you wanted was for him to wrap around you in comfort. You paused before you took off quickly. You would find somewhere to stop, and call someone. You just needed to talk to someone.

It was ok to feel this way, wasn't it?

You found yourself sitting in a fast food place, picking at a burger you had no intention of eating. You hit ignore on your phone as Yoosung called for the 8th time. You listened to the messages, which were him begging you to come home and talk with him about it. You wanted to, but you didn't want to. You sighed, trying not to go into the chat. You wanted the silliness of Luciel, or the goofy narcissism of Zen to cheer you up, but you felt like Yoosung was there, waiting for you to do this, or he had talked to them, and they would all tell you to go home.

Then, someone slid into the seat across from you.

"Are you okay?" Jaehee said, folding her hands in front of herself on the table.

"I know I'm being stupid," you responded with.

"I don't think so. I'm sure Yoosung doesn't either. He knew it would upset you, so why feel bad for reacting how he knew you would?"

"Because! I want to be his supportive girlfriend, but I don't want to lose him..."

"And we all know that."

"You don't understand Jaehee. He can't see out of his eye because of me. He almost died because of me. Just by existing, I'm pushing him to do stupid things."

"But school...isn't stupid. It's what he should be doing."

"But I'm being selfish. I can't exist in a world without Yoosung. What am I going to do if he is gone away for school... I can barely stand it when he's gone away for class. I'm just…so pathetic. I think he knows it. I think he's pushing me away."

"He isn't. We can all see that he isn't. He's just trying to be successful, and to be someone you can be proud of, and I know he doesn't want to leave. I don't think he ever will."

You sighed. This is why you called Jaehee. Her cool, calculating personality is what you needed.

"I think you just need to talk to him." Your phone chimed again, another text from Yoosung. "Just listen to what he has to say. I think you're reacting too quickly." You nod in agreement. "Do you want me to take you home?" You shake your head no.

She gets up to leave. "I have to get back to work. I hope you don't feel I'm leaving you when you need me, but I think it's Yoosung you need right now." She begins to walk away.

"Jaehee?" She pauses. "Thank you." She smiles and walks away.

But, how could you face Yoosung, with how childish you've acted?

You sat at the restaurant, waiting until the calls and texts stopped. Once they did, you sighed, and walked home, hoping Yoosung would be in bed or something.

When you stepped into the apartment, it was quiet. Your plates were still on the table, and the computers both seemed untouched. You tried to be silent as you crept to Yoosung's room, just wanting to see him, but he wasn't there. You felt your heart drop, worrying about where he went. Did he decide it just wasn't worth it anymore? You changed in Yoosung's room, slipping into sweatpants and one of his old shirts, and then went to you own room. You lay down on the small bed, closing your eyes, waiting for sleep to take you. For a while, all that came were tears, until you finally drifted.

You woke later in the night, realizing that Yoosung was wrapped around you. You froze, unsure if he was awake or not.

"I'm glad you came home," he said, putting his lips to your forehead. "I'm so sorry."

You were shocked. Why would he be sorry? You looked up at him, trying to see his face, hoping his thoughts would be easily seen there.

"I shouldn't have let you leave. I should have explained everything to you right away. Just please, never leave me again," he said, his arms wrapping around you tighter.

"Then you have to promise the same thing," you mumbled.

"I promise," he said. "Now can we please go to my room?"

You nodded tentatively. He stood up, and pushed his arms under you, lifting you up. "Yoosung!" you yell in surprise.

"Let's go to bed, Princess."

He lay you down on the bed, and then climbed in after you.

"I'm sorry, too," you say. "I reacted too quickly. I should have-"

You were cut off with his kiss. It was urgent and hard, and you felt a warmth spread through your body. He broke away briefly, his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes. "I love you," he said. You answered by wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into another kiss. You bit his lip, tentatively. He groaned lightly, but did not pull away as he normally did. This encouraged you, and you pressed your body against his. You felt something hard press you, and you gasped, realizing what it was. He pulled away quickly, sitting up, and covering his face. You could tell he was blushing. You tried not to feel hurt.

"Why do you always pull away when it gets like that…" you ask, sitting up.

"I..don't know. I'm nervous I'll do something wrong," he said, looking up and smiling at you.

"So innocent, you say."

"So are you," he says.

You're not sure why, but you felt confidence wash through you. You lean against him, your hand sliding over his thigh and grasping his hard cock through his sweatpants. He gasps, but doesn't pull away. You start massaging it through his pants, memorizing the feel. It was thick and long, and thinking about what it looks like, what it feels like, made your insides throb. Yoosung moaned as you moved your hand up and down the shaft.

Suddenly he was standing up, pulling away from you. He hand one hand over his crotch, and another covering his face.

"I'm sorry," you both say at the same time. You both smile and giggle.

"It's bed time. Let's get some sleep," he says, crawling back into bed. He wraps his arms around you, making sure to distance his lower half. You hear him slowly drift off.

You savor his arms around you, his warmth, the feeling of his love. It's moments like this that you don't know how you can doubt that he loves you. You slowly fall asleep, knowing that he loves you.


End file.
